Book Review - "The 5 Love Languages" - Which one are you?

Another great topic about people, and DON'T get turned off by the word love. This IS about everybody. And yes, I am writing about people again. I just happen to be fascinated and intrigued with the unique (and sometimes quirky) behaviors of the human race. I have been for a long time. People are just.... well..... odd sometimes! There are numerous studies out there attempting to encompass all the complex personality and character traits in people; ones that try to offer some sort of explanation as to why people act the way they do. So that brings me to another way of looking at people, using this specific criteria as the basis. Ready to find out something interesting about yourself?




"Love language" is a phrase originated by author and psychologist Gary Chapman, used to describe how an individual expresses and interprets love; meaning how he perceives, processes and reacts to the actions of those he is the most closely connected with. Some people go through life with their cup "half full", while others go through life with theirs "half empty". For the latter, their vacuum switch is always in the ON position. The only way they can find any measure of completeness is by receiving continual affirmations communicated back to him. He doesn't pick and choose which method he will use; it's just his predominant communication tool by default. He thrives and survives on one particular language, and is absolutely dependent on having this active all through his life. It will also be the single most repetitive way he reaches out to those he loves. 




So here they are:

1. Words of Affirmation: If this is your love language, heavy doses of verbal compliments and dialogue mean everything to you. The more you can talk about something, the more satisfied you feel. You can even wear a topic out, it's easy for you to do this! Because in your mind, there is always one more thing you could say, one more person you can tell, and one more reason to repeat yourself. And then, to complete the cycle, having someone listen and respond back clearly demonstrates their measure of love for you. Any time a conversation of heartfelt importance is abruptly interrupted, side tracked or ended, it will leave you feeling hurt, disappointed and maybe a little angry.

2. Quality Time: You are basically the person who wants undivided attention. I mean, after all, if someone is trying to convince you they love you, then why wouldn't they want to spend every last available minute with you, relishing your presence and devouring the moment? In the perfect world, (and in the movies), this might be a reality for some. But for the rest of you who feel less than fulfilled when this doesn't happen, devastation can set in. You love to receive it, but you also love to give it. Togetherness is critical for your well being, and you will use it to measure your worth to someone else.
  
3. Receiving Gifts: This language is so characteristic of you, because you are someone who loves to give little tokens of affection and appreciation. Expressions of meaningful gestures are also your way of saying how important it is when someone extends a heartfelt gesture to you. Don't be surprised that you will actually anticipate others wanting to do the same for you. A note, a card, an unexpected surprise for no reason. Just because.... This is not to mean that you are so hung up on getting "things", it just means that this expression seems to be the language you speak the best.

4. Acts of Service: If someone, who highly respected you and valued your relationship immensely, went out and washed your car without being asked, what would you think? Or, if they were compelled to look out for ways to be available to help you at any cost, would you feel swooped off your feet because of their random acts of kindness? Yes, this is actually a language of the heart, for the one who steps in and says, "Oh, here, let me do that for you!" This person shows his loyalty by doing things.

5. Physical Touch: This is your expressive way to show someone what they mean to you. You love to give hugs, a pat on the back, a handshake, a backrub; and in a romantic relationship, you're the one who loves to plant an unexpected kiss on your special someone's cheek, and hold hands in public. You are the most affectionate of all of the languages, for obvious reasons, and any amount of distance or avoidance will destroy your trust and reassurance. You want to mean the world to someone.

  
So there they are....spelled out in enough detail that one of them will to stand out to you. Yes, I realize that these descriptions make people look like a bunch of self-serving selfish hopeless cases. But that is not the emphasis here at all. The truth is that every person was created with different needs. In some situations they live on the receiving end, and in others, they greatly desire to please the ones they cherish the most. It goes both ways. It's all about understanding. It's all about balance. It's all about embracing people for who they are.